Do you know all the places where your child could have conversations with strangers?
It is well understood that technology has advanced, ever and onward, beyond our understanding and preparedness. And yet, at this point, more than one generation has grown up (and is growing up) within the online experiment with limited guardrails and faulty safety nets. We all know that there are many dangers to being online, but are we confident that we are prepared to protect our children from such land mines?
And, of all the dangers of the online world, every potential danger pales in comparison to the reports that there are an estimated 500,000 predators online every day specifically targeting and soliciting children.
These predators, men as well as women, vary in sophistication. Some, are easily distinguished by unabashed solicitation and explicitly perverted discussion content; these malicious individuals are the ones often caught in sting operations. Others are more conniving in their approach. Just as scammers have grown in sophistication and tactics in their efforts to trick people into providing personal information, security passwords, and bank account information, so, too, have some online predators grown more calculating and deceitful.
Many of the temptations haven’t changed—promises of understanding and opportunity, offering glamour and luxury, enticing with false promises of freedom and love—but the resources and tools have advanced dramatically. Somewhat recently, national attention was given to an unfortunate tale as old as time, in which many were lured into sex trafficking under the guise of a promise of opportunity in the fashion industry.
In 2024, former Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Michael Jeffries, along with Matthew Smith and James Jacobson, were arrested and indicted with allegations of luring financially vulnerable men nationwide into prostitution through deceitfully offering opportunities into the fashion world. This particular story of trafficking and exploitation is said to have been in full operation from 2008 to 2015 but may have lasted for as long as 20-years; and, according to information provided, it only involved adults (the youngest reported victim was 19-years-old).** Such a story, in which even young adults were vulnerable enough to become victims of a stereotypical temptation, is an example of the kind of false promises offered to distressed, confused, and vulnerable children on a daily basis. If adults can be preyed upon in such a manner, so can kids—and online predators know it!
This leads to an important conversation on a common misconception regarding missing children. Those for whom AMBER Alerts are issued are those classified as endangered due to law enforcement knowing that the child is missing due to abduction; all others are simply understood to be missing and not endangered or runaways. For clarity, more than 90% of the children reported missing in 2024 were designated as runaways. Despite this statistic, the Phoenix Police Department’s Missing Persons Unit starts the conversation on runaways with a false premise fallacy by stating that “running away is not a crime.”* There is no consideration on the taxpayer funded website as to why that child may have willingly left. Unfortunately, the department continued:
“The primary responsibility of the Phoenix Police Department’s Missing Persons Unit is for missing persons who are truly missing. Yes, there is a difference between a missing person and a runaway.”*
Unfortunately, this sentiment is often repeated. The MissingNoMore response to this statement is simple: it’s abhorrently wrong! The truth is that missing is missing, all missing children are truly missing, and there is no difference between a missing person and a runaway. Again, more than 90% of the children reported missing are considered runaways, but the official position of law enforcement is that “the primary responsibility for locating a runaway falls on the parent or guardian of the child.”* What isn’t being asked at the official levels is: how many runaways were groomed by predators? How many runaways are trafficked? How many of these so-called runaways are currently victims of exploitation? We know that nearly 60% of trafficking victims are juveniles from foster care and were likely assumed, due to the reputation of juvenile group homes, to be runaways.
Our responses to such questions and information must be twofold. First, we must prioritize search efforts for all children regardless of circumstances. Second, we need to be preventative in the protection of our own children. We need to know (and be on guard in) the places where our children can have conversations with strangers.
Most of us are aware that there is an over abundance of chat-oriented apps available on tablets and phones: Snapchat, WhatsApp, Telegram, Signal, X (formerly Twitter), Discord, Facebook, Slack, and many more. These apps are free and very commonly used; but, many of us are not aware of individualistic features and settings—such as Snapchat’s intentionally secretive messaging design. But, we cannot only focus our attention on smartphone apps. For decades, video games have included interactive features through chatrooms and microphones; and, this not only applies to online gaming but gaming consoles (Xbox, Nintendo Switch, PlayStation) as well. While this is likely not new information, it should be noted that a large majority of parents don’t know how to use or monitor these features.
Furthermore, websites and discussion forums, like Reddit or other online chatrooms, may seem like an outdated portion of the online world, but, in reality, they are in full force and have only grown in sophistication. Supportiv is one such chatroom; it specifically markets itself through the tagline “Anonymous Online Chat – 24/7, Talk To Strangers Instantly.” This site elaborates on their purpose by emphasizing the ability to be “fully anonymous” throughout engagements with supposed peers.
“In Supportiv’s anonymous peer support chats, you’ll find a step up on the usual experience of chatting online. Moderators and resources are vetted for helpfulness, so you can trust that you’re making the most of your time in the chat. And here, your data is always anonymous and protected. Here, you can chat online to talk to people, get others’ opinions, or find proof that others feel the way you do. It’s quick to find help with any struggle – without judgement, because it’s a fully anonymous chat.”
And, Supportiv is by no means the only option. Knotchat promotes itself with the headline “chat with strangers online safely and anonymously.” Chitchat states, “[Chitchat] is your space to talk to strangers and meet new friends in modern, free and random chatrooms, anonymous and no registration required.” Through Chatib anyone can “chat without registration;” and MeetYou lets you “talk to strangers.” MeetYou adds in the description of their services that through their platform anyone is able to “talk to strangers online in our free to use chat rooms that let you talk with stranger girls and boys anonymously without sign in.”
For the purposes of this discussion, no specific accusations are being made about the content or contributors of these online chatrooms; however, they are examples of the many that are available with each promoting the ability to anonymously chat with strangers.
While an initial reaction may be to attempt to restrict and forbid engagement in such arenas, complete avoidance may not be entirely possible; the genie, so to speak, has already been released from the lamp. My wife and I, because of the age our kids, restrict online interactions as much as possible; when allowed, we monitor our kids activity. But, this response will not hold forever; our kids will grow up. And, as they mature, we want them to be prepared to walk into the online environment safely. Protecting our children from online predators can begin simply with keeping devices in areas of the house where everyone is present, maintaining open communication, adding protective features to computers, tablets, and phones, periodically reviewing browser histories, and, perhaps most importantly, transparently talking to our children (in an age appropriate manner) about the dangers of online predators.